Nights by the lake

One of my fondest memories is from 2005 when I was18 years old. I lived in Acworth, GA at the time and worked at a local hospital in the emergency room. One of my coworkers was a guy named Drew who my about my age and one of my most cherished friends. He had a love for God and a passion for life unlike anyone I had ever known. Just being around him was like a breath of fresh air. Always laughing, going on adventures, and sharing his love for life with others...he was a dreamer at its finest. You felt like your heart could rest when you were with him.

He had an adventurous heart much like mine. He and I used to go to Allatoona lake after getting off work at 11pm or 3am, depending on which shift he had to work. We would sit on the dock in our work clothes, only able to see each other because of the moonlight reflecting off the water. Sometimes we sat...sometimes we laid and looked up at the stars. We would talk for hours about anything and everything, but mostly about the awesomeness of God. I laugh as I type that because the word "awesomeness" sounds so teenager-ish, but that was Drew. Never afraid to sound like a child, because his excitement for life was nothing short of child-like. One night he told me how just the other day, he realized just how little he knows, and how he has so much more to learn. "And isn't that exciting?!" he asked me with his eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas. "There's so much more out there! So much more we can learn. So much room to grow!" Others would see their ignorance as a negative thing, but not Drew. To him it was an opportunity. A chance to become a better person. I admired him, and my adventerous heart loved sharing the possibilities with him.

One night, he said something to me that I haven't forgotten. It was a beautiful starry night, probably around 2am, and I was mesmerized with the beauty around us. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, he looked at me. After a silent pause, he said, "Can I tell you something? You're beaming tonight." I didn't realize it at the time, but I probably looked that way because I FELT that way. Drew and I shared two things that made my heart come alive: A love for Christ, and a heart that longed for adventure. When we looked around, we both saw God's glory in the simplest of things, even in a lake under the moonlight. The only other time I've had that feeling has been while standing on the beach. There's something about being on a shoreline with nothing in front of you but ocean as far as the eye can see. The surroundings are so vast and glorious, it's as if your soul finally has room to breathe. God made us all dreamers. Some have simply suppressed that desire because of the hurts of life. But the longing is still there, buried deep inside. There is something to be said for having a friend that not only encourages your dreams, but dreams himself. A woman comes alive in the presence of a man after God's own heart. With him as her companion, her beauty is unveiled in the most delicate way. She becomes the woman God meant her to be.

I share this story tonight because it has been on my mind all day. God has shown me his glory in the most amazing ways this weekend, and I can't help but share my overflowing heart. God meant for us to have people in our lives who make us beam from the inside out. May you always have a Drew in your life, whether he be a friend, boyfriend, or spouse. And may the two of you share many nights by the lake.

Date in the park

Yesterday, I had planned on going to a football game in Chattanooga and out with a girlfriend after. The game got canceled, so my night was free. I ended up going on a first date in Atlanta.

A little background info: The guy's name is Sean, and we have been "talking" for quite a while, but never met. We had planned to meet today (Sunday), but I guess he was a little anxious for the date, because as soon as I texted him and said the game was canceled, he asked if I wanted to go ahead and come down. I figured we might as well, so I finished up my shopping, got dressed up, and headed to Atlanta.

We met near Cumberland Mall and I rode with him to PF Changs. There's not much to say as far as first impressions. We had both seen several pictures of each other and had been talking for so long that it felt like meeting an old friend. I will say that I thought he was rather good looking, but that was apparent from him pictures, so it was no surprise. :)

I had never been to PF Changs before. We had to wait a while for a table, but it was well worth it. The food was delicious. It wasn't hard to make conversation...one of the perks of talking on the phone for so long. It didn't feel like a first date at all.

Dinner got a little more interesting when I saw smoke rising from a table across from me/behind Sean. I didn't see flames, so I said, "Is that on fire?!" Sean turned around, jumped up, grabbed the napkin that was on fire, and put it out! People started turning around and looking, and two waiters came over with the dumbest looks on their faces, inspecting the napkin trying to figure out what happened. They had candles on all the tables, and someone had thrown their napkin over the candle before leaving. Sean just sat back down like nothing had happened, and I wasn't quite sure what to say. We ended up laughing about it, but it was strange. He ended up with a small burn on his wrist that unfortunately annoyed him for the rest of the night.

We continued our dinner, and later the manager came over to our table, pulled up a chair, and thanked Sean for what he did. They talked for a while, and a few minutes after that our waitress came to our table and said the manager would like to buy us dessert. We were both full, but Sean let me pick a chocolate cake that I took to go.

I started to see Sean's sentimental side when he gave me a copy of our receipt to "keep from our first date." I was really surprised because he's always seemed more like the manly/never show a sweet side type. On the receipt, the manager had circled the "-$7.95" next to the cake and wrote "Thank You" beside it. We joked that if they weren't so cheap, our whole dinner would've been free! :) I also kept both of our fortunes from our fortune cookies. (For curiosity's sake, mine said "There is beauty in simplicity" and Sean's said "Love is a present that can be given every single day you live.")

We left the restaurant and headed towards downtown. I had no idea where we were going, but Sean had mentioned that we might take a little walk, so I had brought some comfortable shoes to change into since I was in some crazy heels. He told me to go ahead and change my shoes and he drove us to Centennial Park.

I didn't know where we were going until we got there, and I have to say, it was quite romantic. I hadn't been to the park since the 96 Olympics. Several beautifully lit buildings surround the park, and it of course is filled with fountains, trees, walking paths, a playgound, etc. Along with the lights of the city, there was a full moon out that added a pretty, subtle light to the park. We took a slow stroll and on our way back to the car, he stopped us at a creek-like fountain where the water flows over the rocks and is surround by a few trees. He ended up surprising me with a nice long kiss, and now that I think about it, I think he had planned that out (that sentimental side again) so we could say that our first kiss was on a moonlit summer night in Centennial Park. :) By this time it was getting close to midnight, and I had a long drive ahead of me, so we headed back to my car.

On the way, he was playing a CD with several good songs on it, many of which I had never heard. I wasn't sure where he had gotten it. He's an A&R director for a record company, so I thought maybe he had gotten it from work. I asked him if he had made it himself. He kind of gave me a funny look and said, "Yeah, for you." I was surprised to say the least. We both have a great love for music, and no one had ever given me a special-made CD on our first date. I love small, meaningful gifts. Big expensive gifts are overkill to me, and I always feel uncomfortable receiving them. He had obviously planned this too, and this was when I realized he had put a lot of thought into this date. If he hadn't impressed me before, I was impressed now. I think I thanked him about five times. He danced and sang the rest of the way to my car and I just sat there and laughed.

We said goodbye at my car, I had a great time, be careful, text me when you're home, and all that good stuff. He kissed me and I got in my car. I had already buckled up and was about to crank it when my door flew open, almost scaring me to death, and I turned to see Sean. He got in one more kiss before we left. With us living about 1.5 hours apart, maybe he thought he wouldn't be getting another one anytime soon. :)

His birthday is next week, but he'll be out of town for work. He should be back on the weekend, so I'm planning on going down again to see him for a belated birthday dinner. I guess it goes without saying that last night was great. Hopefully we'll have many more dates like that. For now, I've got a date with a huge piece of chocolate cake. :)

Selfish vs. Selfless

Everyday, I am amazed at how people make decisions putting themselves before others, never giving a second thought to how their actions may make others feel. Maybe I am wired differently than others. My thoughts are always centered around how my decisions, actions, and words will affect those around me. I don't think my purpose in life should be to gain power, wealth, or glory for myself; I feel like I'm here to help others. I struggle with this sometimes, because there's a balance that I need to keep between taking care of myself while also taking care of those I love. Sometimes I put so much energy into taking care of others, whether it be in a physical, mental, or financial sense, that I forget about myself. It feels very selfish to hear myself say, "I can't help you this time. I need to concentrate on myself right now." As I've gotten older, I've noticed that I unconsciously distance myself from friends that seem to make selfish decisions. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I don't understand them. That's the only explanation I can come up with. To me, there's nothing more commendable than a person with a good, humble heart who has a passion for raising others up, not themselves. It is so very important to love yourself and accept who you are, flaws and all, but it's equally as important to not get caught up in yourself. There has to be a good balance between taking care of yourself and taking care of others. So many people fall too far to one side or the other, and it seems as if the majority of people are on the selfish side. I seem to be too far on the selfless side. A perfect world would have a good balance of everyone in the middle. Yes, it's highly unrealistic to think that will ever happen, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try. I've tried to make it a point to ask myself every night at bedtime, "What did I do for myself today?" Most of the time the answer is something unimportant like "nails", and sometimes I can't think of anything at all. Which means I've got some work to do.

Chronic fatigue and Vitamin B12

It's been a good week so far. I've been getting a lot more done, and I think I owe it to the Vitamin B12 shots I've been on. I've worked in the healthcare field since I was 17, and this is something I'm still learning about. If you have chronic fatigue (always feel tired), this is something you'll wanna hear about.

Back in August, I went to my doc to follow-up after an ER visit (which is a whole other story in itself. Scary night.) and I just happened to mention to her as a side note that I'm "always tired. I never feel like doing anything." She told me she'd like to do a blood draw and check my Vitamin B12 level. Apparently your B12 level plays a big role in energy. My doctor said that some patients tell her that getting their B12 level back to normal after a long deficiency changed their lives. I was definitely intrigued.

The next week, the nurse called me and said that all my labs were fine except my B12 level, which was low. She explained that the doctor would like to put me on shots for a few months. Shots? For a few months? Was it that low? Couldn't I just take a pill? I had lots of questions.

I began doing my own research and found out that B12 is something that is not only responsible for energy level, but also plays a part in your memory. In fact, long term B12 deficiency can lead to dementia or Alzheimer's disease. I was a little surprised at this. But it did make sense. My boyfriend at the time could tell you better than anyone that I had a HORRIBLE memory. I could tell you about things that happened years and years ago, but if I tried to remember what I wore yesterday, forget it. (No pun intended.)

B12 comes from the food we eat, and is common is most all foods. So according to my research, if you're ever found to have a B12 deficiency, it's likely because your body (for whatever reason) lacks the ability to absorb B12 from foods. Either that or you starve yourself. (Yeah, not likely.)
So most people that are diagnosed with a B12 deficiency will likely be on shots for the rest of their lives. (That was the part I didn't particularly like.)

There are Vitamin B12 pills, but they're good for a little boost here and there. My B12 level was something like 174. It's supposed to be in the thousands. I could just take pills, but it would take years to see a real difference in my energy level. I'm not a fan of pill-taking either, so shots were fine with me.

I had to do one shot a day for a week, then one shot a week for a month, and then one shot a month for 3 months. Then a month after that, I was supposed to go back to the doc to have my level checked again. Since I have experience with shot giving, I gave the shots to myself, usually in the butt. (Nice, huh?) It wasn't usually painful. I don't lack the cushion back there, so I always had a good area to choose from! lol

At the doc after the shot regimen, it wasn't the news I was hoping for. The entire regimen should have brought my levels into the thousands, but it was only 311. The doctor actually thought we hadn't done the shots yet. I had to remind her that we did. (Maybe she needs her B12 level checked! Ha!) So it was back to more shots. This time it was one shot a day for a week, then one shot a week for 3 months, which is what I'm doing now. I'm supposed to go back in May and have it checked one more time. If it's still low, I'll likely be on weekly shots for a lifetime.

But the real story here is how I have felt since being on the shots. It's hard to explain. There was no change in the first few days, but after a while, I started to just feel normal. Not overly energetic, but not sluggish either. Just normal. I still have bouts of being tired, but it seems to be getting better. I'm in a much better mood. I can't tell you if there has been a big change in my memory, because if I have forgotten things, I don't remember forgetting! lol. The inability to remember was obvious when I was with my ex, because he was part of my everyday life. Since we broke up in late January, there's no one that's really there every single day. So maybe my memory is better...I don't know! But regardless, I'm just glad to feel more like myself.

I try to tell people about this because working in the healthcare field, I've seen how the system works. I HATE when a doctor will give you a general diagnosis without finding out what's the cause of the problem. I've seen tons of patient charts with the diagnosis "chronic fatigue syndrome," which means you're tired all the time. Well DUH. The doctor will say, "You're just tired. That's normal. Try to rest more." He'll stick chronic fatigue syndrome in the chart (because he has to give a diagnosis for the insurance) and send you on your way, never bothering to figure out WHY you're so unusually tired. And for those that do try to figure it out, they usually check your thyroid, see if you're anemic, pregnant, etc., which are all reasons you can be tired all the time too. Vitamin B12 is not thought of often, but apparently it's not an uncommon problem.

SO...if you are tired 99.9% of the time for no reason at all, even after resting, maybe you should have your B12 level checked. I'm glad I did, not only for the increased energy, but also because I do not want dementia or Alzheimer's one day. I've seen it first-hand, and it's possibly the saddest thing I've ever had to see. I'll take my shots every week for the rest of my life if that's what I need to do.

Climbing mountains

My patients really amaze me sometimes. People my age tend to "brush off" older people, but sometimes I enjoy conversations with 50-somethings more than with people my own age. They are older, and wiser. If you sat down with a stranger old enough to be your grandparent and had a conversation about life, I'm positive that you'd be amazed at what you'd learn. That happened to me on a plane once. An unlikely conversation thousands of feet in the air...I'm still not sure if the person who sat next to me was just a regular old man or an angel.

It's no secret that life has been challenging for me lately, and I've spent many nights praying for something...anything...to help. After last week, I am confident that my prayers were not only heard, but answered. And it's amazing how God works sometimes. Who would've thought that healing and comfort would come through conversations with my patients? I found myself sitting in my office more than once last week with tears in my eyes, so touched by the words I had just heard. I'll leave the deatils out. Way too much to type in a blog. There are, however, a couple of quotes that stick out in my mind, and I'll share those.

"I didn't know what a right choice was."

"I was so drawn to the bad guys. I could've been standing in a room with 1,000 men, with 999 of them being great guys, and I would be drawn to the one bad guy like a magnet."

Here in the past few days, some confusing things have come up. Here lately, it seems as if I'm having to make major back-to-back decisions that will have a serious impact on my life. I can't catch a mental or emotional break. I am my own therpaist, talking myself through the hurtful situations, giving myself advice that I would give others. I honestly feel like I've held up pretty well, considering. I know this storm will soon pass, but I'm trying to not look so hard for the blue skies, because I know that the storms are where you grow and learn. Character is built during times like these, and you come out on the other side a better person. It's not about reaching the mountaintop; it's about every step you stuggled to take on the way up. Achieving your goal doesn't define you. Overcoming all those little struggles in the process does. So I'm trying to really soak in all the learned lessons, and boy has there been a lot of them lately. There are still some choices on the horizion that will have to be made soon, and I'm just praying I make the right ones. Sometimes the saddest and hardest thing you have to do is to eliminate someone from your life who you truly cared about. But when the alternative is letting yourself being taken advantage of time after time, in the end you're only hurting yourself. One famous quote plays over and over in my mind..."God never said life would be easy. He only promised it would be worth it." And one more..." For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."- Romans 8:18

So here I go. Another step towards the top with everything I got. I've been promised that it will be worth it, and I believe it.

Getting to know me, part I

Happy Valentine's Day. I'm going to do another survery tonight because I'm trying to pass the time, but I don't really feel like sharing everything that's on my mind tonight. So here we go.

What is on your bed right now? I think just the sheets and comforter. Maybe a shirt?

When was the last time you threw up? A few months ago when I took that dang sinus pill I'm allergic to. I think I've figured out the ingredient I can't have now. Worst feeling ever.

What's your favorite word or phrase? I've been told I say "ummm" a lot.

Name 3 people who made you smile today? My mom, dad, and the guy at Zaxby's...lol

What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Getting ready for work.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Listening to Diddy's V-day love mix.

What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

Have you ever been to another country? Yes, to Mexico on a cruise.

What is the last thing you said aloud? I have no idea...

What is the best ice cream flavor? Hmm..my fav used to be strawberry but I like to mix it up now. Oreo blizzards from Dairy Queen are delish.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Tea

What are you wearing right now? My PJs

What was the last thing you ate? Anybody who knows me well could tell you....chicken. :)

Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope

When was the last time you ran? I can't remember. I hate running.

What's the last sporting event you watched? Basketball game last Friday night.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? I've always wanted to go to Australia.

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on facebook? I commented on a girl's wall post to me. I don't really know her but she's a sweet girl.

Ever go camping? Yep, it's been a long time though.

Do you have a tan? Not really. I need one.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? If I did, it got lost before I realized where it went!

What is your guilty pleasure? Coca cola cake from Cracker Barrel. Mmmm...

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? I do. You kinda have to sometimes to let people know how you mean something.

Do you drink your soda from a straw? I don't drink soda usually. It gives me the hiccups everytime!

What did your last text message say? "Happy Valentines day. Consider this message a rose and a box of chocolates. I love all my wonderful girls." -My dad (The most wonderful man on the face of this Earth)

Are you someone's best friend? Damond and I used to be the best of friends. Hopefully we can get that back one day, but it's a little too soon right now. I guess our relationship can be described as "cordial" right now.

What are you doing tomorrow? Working

Where is your mom right now? Probably at her house.

Look to your left, what do you see? A candle. The tv remove. A picture.

What color is your watch? Silver

What do you think of when you think of Australia? Snorkeling for some reason? And kangaroos.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Yes! Love them! The bigger the better.

What is your birthstone? Sapphire

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Mostly drive thru.

Do you have any friends on facebook that you actually hate? Hmm. Not that I can think of. Hate is such a strong word.

Do you have a dog? No. I'd get a puppy if I was home more.

Last person you talked to on the phone? One of the girls at work.

Any plans today? The day is winding down. I'll probably watch a movie after this and go to sleep.

Are you happy? There are some things I'd like to change, but I'm thankful for all my blessings.

Where are you right now? My house

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? That someone that I care about can't be a part of my life because he continually hurts me by only thinking of himself. He'll probably grow up one day, but by then we'll have been apart too long. I guess it's more hurtful than annoying.

Last song listened to? Coming home- Diddy (Love that song)

Last movie you saw? Honestly can't remember. Last movie in theaters was The Dilemma. Walked out about halfway through it. Ha

Are you allergic to anything? Morphine and that long Ph- word that's in most OTC sinus meds.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? I have a favorite of each style but not one pair that I wear all the time.

Are you jealous of anyone? Nah. If God wanted me to have anything other than what I got, he would've either given it to me or provided a way for me to have it.

Are you married? No

Is anyone jealous of you? Idk

Do any of your friends have children? Most of them, yeah

Do you eat healthy? Not usually. I love southern food. I'm trying to eat healthier though.

What do you usually do during the day? Work. Clean if I'm home.

Do you hate anyone right now? No. Life's too short.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily? I think I say "hi" or "hey" more than hello.

How many kids do you want when you're older? Hmm. If I have any, just one. Maybe two.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 25

Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yeah. I wanna go back this spring.

How did u get your scars? Got a few on my stomach from surgery. One on my right knee from a bad bike wreck when I was younger. One on my foot from the vaccum thing that was in a friend's pool. It ran over my foot and cut me. I hated that thing.

What do you wish you could change right now? Wow. Well, sometimes I just wish people could stand in my shoes and see things from my point of view. For whatever reason, it means a lot to be understood. People tend to make assumptions and don't bother to find out the truth. For example, if you knew me at all, you would know I very rarely get angry, and if I do, I don't stay that way for long. If you took the time to dig deeper, you'd find that I always have a reason, and "mad" is not the driving force behind my actions. So if you've made the assumption that I'm mad at you, you probably never took the time to get to know me at all.

....That's all for tonight, folks.

Weekend recap

I am sitting in my living room, cuddled up under a blanket, watching some bridal show on TLC, and enjoying the feeling of having absolutely nowhere to go today. It's been a great weekend.

On Friday night, I had dinner with a friend. (Hibachi. Mmmm!) The people in the restaurant seemed to be feeling a little crazy. The staff came out twice to do their birthday thing, complete with the drum and a little dancing from the chefs. :) And the food was delicious, of course.

We came back to my place after dinner and watched several forensic-type shows until well after midnight. It was nice to go out and have good company and conversation with a friend who loves to laugh. I needed the mental break. I'm hoping I can go out like that more often.

Yesterday was a day of nothing but REST. I am always on my feet, so I promised myself that I would give myself a day to rest and recharge. I spent the majority of it on the couch, and normally I would feel guilty for being lazy, but it didn't feel like laziness at all. It felt like a break, and a well-deserved one at that. I think I'll be giving myself days like that more often!

Today will be light cleaning, laundry, ironing, taxes, a good dinner, and the Grammys tonight. I like starting my work week off with everything clean and ready to go. Tomorrow is Valentine's day, and I obviously don't have a Valentine this year, but I'm going to try to think of it as a day to celebrate everyone I love, especially my family. Hopefully it will still be a good day.

To be very honest

There is so much going on right now that it's hard to even know where to begin. I'm still trying to deal with some of the same stuff, and just here in the past few days, there have been new "hurts" and new stresses added. It's certainly easier to deal with problems when it's just one thing at a time, but unfortunately life doesn't ask if you're ready for another problem before it hands one to you.

To be honest I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment. But who isn't? We all have our own problems and stresses. I'm certainly not the first person to feel this way.

Unfortunately the only solution to many of my problems is time. They aren't going to go away overnight, so what I need from my loved ones is patience and understanding. I need people to know that I won't be myself for a while, but let me be sad and let me hurt until I'm better.

When you're going through a storm, the worst thing you can do is to tell yourself (and the world) that you're fine when you really aren't. Part of facing pain and getting through it is admitting that it's there. Otherwise you're just "sweeping it under the rug"...pretending like it's not there and not dealing with it. I know this all too well. Because you never truly deal with your problems, they build up until you simply can't handle it and you break down. So many people that you come in contact with everyday is on the brink of a meltdown, but you'd never know it by looking at them. They don't want anyone thinking that they aren't strong enough to deal with whatever is going on (men especially), so they put on a brave face. But the person with true strength isn't afraid to face their pain. They aren't afraid to appear hurt or vulnerable to the world. We all feel pain, and there's nothing wrong with that. You gain strength and build character by facing your hurt, not by acting like everything is fine. I wish people were more honest with themselves these days. I'm sure that this world would be much different if we were.

At this point, I'm honestly very tired of people's attempt at comforting words. The "I'm sorrys" and "things will get better" and "you deserve better anyway"...blah blah blah. I appreciate what people are trying to do, and I know it's all with good intentions and out of love, but after you've heard the same things over and over, you realize that the words bring no comfort at all. Nothing does. Maybe this is why I don't like talking about what's going on in detail. It helps nothing and only makes me relive the pain through the re-telling. Right now I just need time and space. This is especially hard for my coworkers to understand right now. I can tell that it bothers them that I'm not as social, don't eat lunch with them, etc. It's nothing against them at all. I'm just sad right now and need some time and space to get myself through it. I'm not ready to laugh yet, and I don't want to kill a good atmosphere with what's going on in my personal life.

In a few weeks, I'll be better. My life was recently turned upside down and it just takes a while to get everything back into place. But I'll get there and I'll be stronger for it. Life will one day hold all the happiness that I knew a year ago. It's just going to take a little while to get there. So please be patient with me, world. I'm trying.

Self survey

1. Are you slowy drifting away from someone close? If I am, it is intentional and for my own good.

2. When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty? Good question. I guess a while ago because I can't remember.

3. How is life going for you right now? Lots of changes. Adjusting.

4. When was the last time you held someone's hand? When I kept Ethan the weekend before last.

5. Who can you tell everything to? God. He already knows anyway.

7. Who was the last person you talked to on AIM? I haven't been on AIM in forever.

8. Last words you spoke? "Bye!" lol

9.Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a C? Yes

13. How do you feel about gay marriage? I'm not the one to judge.

14. What is the next concert you're going to? Probably EHSS, but it won't be for a while.

17. Can you play guitar hero? Never tried, so I guess not. lol

18. Do you like someone? I like a lot of people! ;)

21. Is any part of your body sore? My back from sitting at my desk all day. Need to stretch it.

22. Who was your last text from? Reese

23. What is the last movie you watched in theaters? Dilemma

24. What do you currently hear right now? My fan and the radio

27. Who did you kiss this year at midnight? Well, I was with Damond but he was asleep. So, no one.

28. Who did you last share a bed with? Ethan. My little cuddle bug :)

32. Do fish have feelings? Lol. What a random question. Well, they get in fights with each other, so I guess they can get mad. (It's weird that I know that.)

34. What do you currently smell like? My shampoo. (Where did question 33 go?)

35. How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? No idea. I just take life as it comes.

36. Would you rather watch football or baseball? Football definitely, but I like baseball too as long as it's in person. (Love going to the Braves stadium!)

37. Missing someone right now? Yes, I've been missing my godkids like crazy all week!

38. What's the strangest fact about you? That I can't stand for my socks to be twisted? That's a hard question.

39. Where is your number one person on your friends list? This was obviously made for old-school myspace. lol

43. How much money do you have on you? I have some change and credit and debit cards. I don't normally carry cash.

44. Do you sleep naked? Not usually. Maybe if I'm sick or really hot.

45. Favorite color? Pink or blue

46. Do you burn easily in the sun? If I haven't been laying out recently, I usually burn if I stay out too long. But with sunscreen I'm okay.

47. Do you speak another language other than English? A little spanish.

48. What made you happy today? Good convo with a friend via text messages :)

52. What's something you enjoy? Shopping, getting my nails done, GA football, time with my godbabies.

53. Where and who did your last hug take place? At my former church on Sunday night. I can't remember with who though. We hugged so many people.

54. Did you cry today? No

55. Have you ever had mono? No. Thank goodness.

56. The last place you were (besides now)? Applebees with Brooke

59. The last gift you received? All my Christmas gifts

60. How many times a day do you drop your cell phone? Dang. Probably twice a day. (Too many times.)

61. The top three things you spend the most money on? Food, nails, and my godkids.

62. Last food you ate? Chicken

63. First thing you notice about the opposite sex? How he carries himself.

64.One of your favorite songs? Walkaway Joe will always be one of my favs.

65.The school you attend? I'm not in school anymore.

66. Your cell phone provider? T-Mobile

67. Favorite store in the mall? Probably The Limited

68. The longest job you had? If you count both hospitals, Northside.

69. The biggest lie you've ever heard? That my sisters aren't gayfers. What a joke.

70. In your opinion, do long distance relationships work? If you have a good foundation before you separate and 100% trust, yes. But it's hard to maintain.

71. Do you drink coffee? I like the smell of it, but I don't drink it.

72. What do you wanna say to your most recent ex? I'll have to message him tomorrow after my doctor's appt to let him know how it went. We don't talk regularly, but we are still friends.

73. Do you believe in God? Absolutely

74. How many pillows do you usually sleep with? 3

75. What are you wearing now? My work clothes.

76. How many pets do you own? Two. Wait...those are my sisters. My bad. :)

77. What are you doing tomorrow? Working and going to the doc.

78. Can you play ping pong? No I suck at it!

79. Which place has the best burgers? My dad makes the best burger ever!

80. Have you ever attended a themed party? Does a baby shower count?

81. Have you ever thrown a party? Two bacherlorette parties for close friends and a few baby showers.

82. What time did you wake up this morning? 6am, but I wake up often throughout the night.

83. Last time you were in trouble with the cops? Got a speeding ticket once. I don't know if that counts as trouble though.

84. What color underwear are you wearing? Black

85. What are your plans for this weekend? Dinner with a friend on Friday, Monkey Joe's with all the kids on Saturday, and Super Bowl on Sunday! And house cleaning and laundry somewhere in there.

86. How many days is it until your birthday? Too many to count. It's in September.

87. What do you want to be when you "grow up"? I like what I'm doing now (research), but I do want to finish my degree one day.

88. Have you ever been in the hospital for an emergency? Not a life or death one, but I've had to go to the ER a few times.

89. What jewelery are you wearing? Earrings. And I think it's funny how the person that made this survey can't spell.

90. Do you like avocado? Don't think so

91. What color shirt are you wearing? Black and light purple

92. How long is your hair? Ummm...about halfway between my shoulders and my boobs. Sorry, I didn't know how else to explain it. :)

93. When was the last time you smiled? Earlier today

94. Where is the phone? Dang, I don't know lol. Guess I better go find it! :)

A little medical humor

Thought I'd share this as my blog tonight because I'm in a luaghing mood. :)

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticedthat there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX.

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient'santerior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed."Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn'tsee. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"After a look of complete confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when myhusband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, andabove it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
Submitted by RN no name

AND FINALLY!!!................

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
Dr. Wouldn't submit his name
(Can't blame him!)

Season of change

"The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes."

Change seems to be the theme of my life at the moment. Last week, my boyfriend and I, after two years together, went our separate ways. To say I never thought I'd be in this position is an understatement. From the time we started dating, I knew I had found a rare jewel. He was (and is) a truly good man with a good heart. There was never a doubt in my mind that he was it for me. But just because two people are good as individuals does not always mean that they are good for each other. I guess we're still friends. We never agreed to a friendship, but we have corresponded a couple of times since the break-up, and although we are obviously both still hurting, there's no reason to hate each other and never speak again. I miss him. Terribly. I miss his laugh. I miss how he understood me without needing an explanation. I miss having someone to call each night and tell your whole day to. But these are things that I will get used to. Several people have asked me if I am okay. Frankly, right now I am not, but I will be. Sometimes you have to just let things hurt for a while. Nothing heals the pain except time. Two years is a long time to date someone, and some days it's still a shock when I wake up and remember that we're no longer together. Adjusting and healing will just take some time, but I'll get there. I am trying to use this time as a single woman to concentrate on myself. Again, this is another adjustment. I am used to putting my time and energy into taking care of others. Finding a balance between taking care of myself and taking care of those I love is a learning process. But I certainly do have the time to learn right now. So right now I'm living a "one day at a time" kind of life. But it's times that these that builds character and makes you a better person. I know that God is preparing my heart for something great, and I intend to be ready and with an open heart when the time comes along. Right now, I just need a little time to put the pieces back together.