Selfish vs. Selfless

Everyday, I am amazed at how people make decisions putting themselves before others, never giving a second thought to how their actions may make others feel. Maybe I am wired differently than others. My thoughts are always centered around how my decisions, actions, and words will affect those around me. I don't think my purpose in life should be to gain power, wealth, or glory for myself; I feel like I'm here to help others. I struggle with this sometimes, because there's a balance that I need to keep between taking care of myself while also taking care of those I love. Sometimes I put so much energy into taking care of others, whether it be in a physical, mental, or financial sense, that I forget about myself. It feels very selfish to hear myself say, "I can't help you this time. I need to concentrate on myself right now." As I've gotten older, I've noticed that I unconsciously distance myself from friends that seem to make selfish decisions. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I don't understand them. That's the only explanation I can come up with. To me, there's nothing more commendable than a person with a good, humble heart who has a passion for raising others up, not themselves. It is so very important to love yourself and accept who you are, flaws and all, but it's equally as important to not get caught up in yourself. There has to be a good balance between taking care of yourself and taking care of others. So many people fall too far to one side or the other, and it seems as if the majority of people are on the selfish side. I seem to be too far on the selfless side. A perfect world would have a good balance of everyone in the middle. Yes, it's highly unrealistic to think that will ever happen, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try. I've tried to make it a point to ask myself every night at bedtime, "What did I do for myself today?" Most of the time the answer is something unimportant like "nails", and sometimes I can't think of anything at all. Which means I've got some work to do.